Thursday, April 29, 2004

A Slow Banking Turn
I was told I would hear “something today” from the bank on when I would start, and so on. There is something about institutions where a fairly zen approach to such terms is taken. “Today” may mean this week, within the same Martian day of 24 hours and 37 minutes (yes, I have that memorized – yep: Dork factor eight, Mister Sulu), or some dog-year equivalent or something to do with Microsoft or game company release dates. I’m sure somewhere in the universe is a planetary system where everything works on corporate time. Unfortunately, their corporations are working on a strict 24-hour day and 365.25 day year, and their population is just as screwed.

Kerry and Rhetoric

Politics alert. Bear with me, or skip this section. I’m just really frustrated with what passes for logic in the public circle, and I’m not even seeing professionals on either side catching these pop flies.

I’m rather stunned about this whole mess between the parties on Kerry being patriotic. He was patriotic for six months over thirty years ago, and has trashed the military rhetorically and fiscally ever since. It’s like saying “no one who isn’t married can criticize my marriage. I was a great husband for the first six months. I served my time and got great wedding presents. Of course, after that I heaped verbal abuse on my wife for the next several years. Eventually we divorced and I fought like hell to keep her from getting any alimony or child support. But no one can criticize me who hasn’t been there, and knows the hell that marriage is!”

I haven’t served, either. But at least I don’t mind tax dollars going towards systems to keep my country safe, or body armor to keep the troops safe. I may not have spent six months of my life in the military, but I can safely say that even at 35, I’ve spent more than six months of my life earning nothing but tax money to keep the Defense Department funded. That alone should count for something in terms of representation. It’s also my freedom on the line if the military is mismanaged – that also counts for something.

I’m amazed that they claim that an attack on Kerry is an attack on all veterans of all wars. Good grief! How much acid do you have to drop to believe that? It’s like saying Hitler was a bad man after he was a painter, so if you criticize Hitler you are criticizing artists everywhere. It would be doubly so if Hitler’s first act on leaving the art world was to spend the next few years attacking artists as genocidal villains, then defunding the arts through his entire time in government.

I'm reminded of early episodes of South Park where Mr. Garrison is giving lectures on History. I think Kerry's invoking a non-existent pope for a non-existent theological statement to justify himself was pure Garrison.

Compare John Kerry and Mr. Garrison's "And in 1970 Engerbert Huperdink became the first American to land on the moon".

And how does an old guy like Kerry snowboard, let alone with shrapnel supposedly still lodged in his butt? That alone makes me want to personally haul his butt into an x-ray lab. If he becomes president, and his medical exams from Bethesda are public, will doctors be sworn to secrecy if they don’t find the wounds he’s been flaunting for years?

It’s perfectly simple to put this to rest – Kerry needs to moon a conservative radio host. He’s been doing it rhetorically, anyway. If the pictures I’ve seen of him are any indication, it’s not the most undignified thing he’s done in public.

And if it is true, anyone who picks up that much shrapnel in that short a time has a bit of a red shirt factor. In an era of terrorism, do we really want Mister Explosion Magnet in a prime government building? It reminds me of the old joke about “Missing: Lost dog. Leg missing, blind in one eye, deaf, deep scar in hip from being hit by truck. Answers to Lucky.”

Thanks. Just needed to vent.

Someday, I'll have to do a post on being a South Park Republican in a family of Ted Nugent Republicans.

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